Financial Tips for Couples Who Need to Talk


Financial Tips for Couples Who Need to Talk

Tough economic times can cause a major strain on your marriage. And while we all know that communication is often the key to overcoming this challenge, discussing finances with a spouse can be extremely difficult for many people. With this in mind, here are some tips to at least get the conversation started.

Get Out of the House - One of the worst times to discuss finances with your significant other is just after you've paid the bills. Let's face it, there's something about writing all of those checks that suddenly makes the reality of your monthly finances sink in. So, instead of approaching your spouse with statements in hand, try waiting a few hours. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. Then invite your partner for a walk or a cup of coffee at a local coffee house. The key here is a change of environment, a relaxed, neutral place where your partner won't feel like he or she is being attacked.

Give Your Partner Some Credit - If starting the conversation is hard for you, try opening with a story about your parents' attitude and behavior towards money. This will provide an opportunity for your partner to do the same, opening the door for the discussion. Experts suggest starting off with an example of your own shortcomings and how you hope to change it. Also, offering a compliment of what he or she has been doing right is a great way to break the ice.

Never Assume - Your goal here is to establish a common ground, to create and quantify a plan of action that will benefit you both, even a small goal that you both can work toward as a team. Because of this, you really can't assume that your values and beliefs are absolutely correct and flawless. Be respectful and humble and listen to what your partner has to say. Most importantly, don't blame.

Bring in an Expert - Take the conversation to the next level. Once you've established a general plan, talking to a financial planner together can serve not only to ease the tension, but to solidify your common goals. Either way, keep talking, keep trying, and avoid bickering. Remember, no argument has ever decreased anyone's monthly bills and keeping quiet has never increased anyone's savings.

 

Karl Peidl
Lincoln Mortgage Company
251 Bellevue Avenue, Suite 102
Hammonton, NJ 08037

609-878-7013

kpeidl@linc-mort.com

www.facebook.com/newjerseymortgages

 


Pennsylvania: Licensed by the PA Department of Banking as a First Mortgage Banker and licensed pursuant to the PA Secondary Mortgage Loan Act. New Jersey: Licensed by the N. J. Department of Banking and Insurance Maryland: Authorized Mortgage Lender by the State of Maryland Commissioner of Financial Regulation. Florida: Licensed Mortgage Lender by the Florida Office of Financial Regulation. Delaware: Licensed Lender by the Delaware Office of the State Bank Commissioner.


Comments

Money can be a big issue in a marriage.  I think the change of scenery to discuss finances is a great idea.  Also, I know a lot of folks that have found Dave Ramsey a valuable third-party in their money plans.

Posted by Susan Brown (Keller Williams NE, Kingwood Texas (Humble & Atascocita too)) over 2 years ago

Financial matters ranks in the top 5 concerning failing marriages; I hope those involved in these troubled marriages take your advice Karl. Thanks for the information.

Posted by Robert Ott (Century21 Beal Inc.) over 2 years ago

As Susan and Robert have noted, this is one of the key reasons marriages fail, and I am grateful you 've provided some cncrete tips in how to deal with these issues.

Posted by Janice Roosevelt,Ecobroker, ABR, e-PRO ( - Keller Williams Real Estate -) over 2 years ago

Thanks Susan.  Discussing it in a public setting can help to keep emotions in check.

Posted by Karl Peidl - Accredited Loan Consultant over 2 years ago

Robert - I would guess that it would be #2 behind infidelity.

Posted by Karl Peidl - Accredited Loan Consultant over 2 years ago

Hi Janice.  It's always good to see you hear.  I'm glad to help.

Posted by Karl Peidl - Accredited Loan Consultant over 2 years ago

Karl, this is great advice.  I'm sure there are lots of foilks out there having these conversations!

Posted by Patricia Kennedy (Evers & Company Realtors) over 2 years ago

Patricia - I'm sure you are right; however there are probably lots of folks out there that should have these conversations but aren't.

Posted by Karl Peidl - Accredited Loan Consultant over 2 years ago

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